If you were to take a step back in time and consider our most primitive beginnings, before we used words but simply grunted our desires. (I know, I know – sometimes we still do that) Before we shaved our legs or cooked meals. (No, No – before that.) When faced with a stressful situation our bodies would shift into fight or flight mode, an internal “DANGER” alarm system. When activated it bypasses the rational mind, puts us in “attack” mode, and floods our happy little bloodstreams with adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol. Everything becomes a threat and we are ready for it.
Honestly, that temporary high feels rather fantastic for a few minutes. (WHOOOO – HOOOO!) In that moment, every sense is intensified. You are stronger, with better eyesight and keen awareness. You are superman (woman). . . you can outrun a sabre-tooth tiger or fight off an intruder having only your hairy knuckles for a weapon.
The problem with our primitive response is our bodies perceive the stress of now the same exact way it did, even though we don’t have to outrun tigers (unless you are hanging out at skeezy bars) and most of us don’t live in caves.
But STRESS (the bodies reaction to danger) is everywhere – it is a fight with our loved one, our bills piling up, traffic, our job, our kids, our in-laws, etc. However, being flooded with chemicals on a daily basis takes a significant toll on our bodies and love life. It’s bad . . . very bad.
I am sure we have all heard from our doctors to remove the stress in our lives since it leads to personal health issues such as heart disease, high blood pressure, sleep problems, decreased immunity, etc. Blah, Blah, Blah. . . Yep, I am sure we know that one.
However, stress hormones, being cumulative in your body, also significantly impact your relationships. Constant influx of stress has been linked to:
● Feelings of Insecurity ● Anger
● Forgetfulness ● Depression
● Over/ Under Eating ● Crying Spells
● Angry Outbursts ● Social Withdrawal
What does that mean for nookie seekers? Seriously? No one wants any. . . . Men can lose interest and women are so overwhelmed they can’t see straight.
The best and only way to deal with stress is do it like our ancestors (no, not that. Well, actually – that works). In a moment of danger or stress, their bodies would activate their natural alarm system. They would do what was necessary and follow it by some downtime.
People aren’t readily given downtime, so you have to take downtime. You have that right. I don’t care if it’s turning your cell phone off and sitting in a parking lot for 5 minutes before you pick up your kids, take some downtime.
But, as always, I am all about creating a Nookie Night. Nothing better than coming home from a stressful day and having someone you love give you the downtime you need. It is soooo all encompassing!
No matter what you do, take some downtime to rest, release and unplug. You owe it to your children, to your job, to your honey but most of all. . . to yourself.
Filed under: Relationship Advice | Tagged: advice, female, fight or flight, gender difference, nookie, Relationship Advice, Relationships, stress, stress and relationships
That part about the rational mind makes sense. Explains a lot about women