Every now and then someone says something to me that just throws me off balance. I have a guy friend, who is one of those guys that is a friend of my families and I would unconditionally trust. He is a guy who has been married for ten+ years. No matter what she looks like he loves his wife and they are best friends. He has two beautiful children and, in general, a picturesque life. What we all strive for and seem to want.
He began by telling me that he ran into his ex girlfriend at a bookstore (I know, it sounds like a plot in the movies) and he found himself attracted to his ex. Not really her but how well she takes care of herself. He was telling me this because he was concerned and didn’t know what to do.
His wife, though still beautiful to him, doesn’t care anymore. She used to care what clothes she wore, but now all she wears are his t-shirts and baggy pants. She used to care what she looked like but now she rarely wears makeup and pulls her hair back when it is still wet.
Ladies, I have to say this and I am sorry. I do understand! But no matter the excuse you throw at me or you make to yourself, there is no excuse to stop taking care of yourself. NONE! I have been there. I hold a record for amount of weight gain/loss after losing 100 pounds after my daughter’s birth. (Don’t even think it – 30 pounds was water, etc – the rest of it was Cookies & Cream milkshake. It wasn’t easy) I have rejected society’s opinion of who I should be and how I should look. I have been there and done that. If you want to know more about me, I would be happy to share. Just ask!
No matter how much we don’t like or don’t understand the idea, it doesn’t change the f
act that men are visual. If you want your honey to make you happy then you have to do your part.
I am not talking about weight – I am talking about personal pride. It doesn’t take a lot of money. It costs the same at Wal-Mart for ugly clothes as it does for flattering clothes. I know you don’t have time, no one does. But find the time. I am not perfect, I am not trying to be nor am I telling you that you need to be. If you were never the girl who wore makeup I am not suggesting you start. All I am suggesting is to be yourself, but the best possible (and reasonable) version. That is all anyone can ever ask!
After all, if you don’t respect yourself how can you expect anyone else to respect you?
Filed under: Advice for Women
The doors swings both ways on this subject. While a woman may be more emotional than visual that doesn’t mean the guy gets to let himself go. Eventually, the situation will become emotional when she decides that she spends all the time she can to look pretty while he turns into a couch potato.
Coming from a different angle both parties owe it to the other to stay in the best physical condition they can in order to be around for each other for years to come. I’m talking health here really more so than appearance.
As Loria has hinted to this is a self esteem issue too. It sounds like the wife has, somewhere along the line, stop caring because of some underlying reason. That’s where I think he should look. When did she start letting herself slip? What was happening at that time? Is it something he/she/they can work on (I’ll answer this – Yes!) to get her to feeling better about herself and wanting to dress better?
I wish him well on getting to the bottom of this so he and wifey can get back to some good nookie!
Mike…glad to hear this coming from a guy. Wahoo!!
@Muse
The truth is just that…the TRUTH. Guys are WAAAY more likely to “fall off” than women are IMHO. So ladies – don’t let us! LOL
I think this a really good point! People should take the other person out of it and look at it as a personal pride issue, because it really is just about taking care of yourself – wanting to look good so that you can feel good, for you. Thanks for the post.
Being the best you can be for YOU as well as your family and partner is the best gift anyone can give themselves and those they love. Aside from the attractiveness issue, health is an important factor as is self esteem and quality of life.
This is so true and is something that is hard to except. It is important to love yourself for yourself. A woman has to want to be that woman. Thank you!
Do you actually take the time to answer all these people’s comments? If so I just wanted to ask how long did it take to your site the way that it is? What has inspired you to set up your blog and where do you get all your content from?